Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
