I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize
