i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
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