I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
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