i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
