On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
i drank out of a bidet.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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