My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize
