I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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