I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Randomize
