The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
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