I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
