Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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