I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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