Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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