I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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