Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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