Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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