I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
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