I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
They have beer where we have blood.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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