her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
