Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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