whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
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