hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
