Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
