Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
