I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Randomize
