South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
