Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I've blown a few things in my day
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
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