And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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