About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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