just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
