I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
