Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
