What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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