YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
