Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
