Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Randomize
