Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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