12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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