For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
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