so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Randomize
