i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
