Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
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