Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
