Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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