yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
