Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
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