saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
It's shark week go big or go home
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
