It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
this just has baby written all over it
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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