you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
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