Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
my shit smells like andre
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
