sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
