check it out our google latitudes are spooning
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
