windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
