Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
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