I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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