i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
